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Naturally, I’m way too uncreative and lazy to actually have come up with this list; it comes courtesy of the Global Language Monitor. I have no idea who they are or what they do, but I’m relatively sure they’ve put some severe sanctions on Sarah from Real World Philly, whose declarations of “How dare her!” plague my very soul. But for those of you want to see these top 15 words in action, I figured I’d be a benevolent soul and put ‘em to use in a sentence so you can get the gist on how to use ‘em correctly.
1. Pinot (Sideways): Recently, I compared myself to a pinot to try to show a waitress my “true self”; she suggested that unbuttered toast, being both bland and unpleasant, was a more appropriate metaphor.
2. Genius (Ray): The next film snob who tells me Lars Von Trier is a genius is going to be smacked…hard.
3. Hand Washing (Aviator, etc): I’ve tried obsessively hand washing for months, but I suspect I’ll always feel unclean ever since my hand accidentally grazed against a White Chicks DVD.
4. “Mo chuisle” (Million Dollar Baby): In Million Dollar Baby, Clint Eastwood was originally going to buy a robe for Hilary Swank that read “girlie tough” but since they were out he settled for Mo chuisle.
5. Gipper (The Knute Rockne Story): My theory is that James Brolin’s portrayal of The Gipper (Ronald Reagan), not pneumonia, was what led to his demise.
6. Neverland (Finding Neverland): Remember the good old days when Neverland conjured up images of boys refusing to grow up instead of…well…ewwww?
7. Antiquity (Troy, etc.): In the eyes of Roman Polanski, Lindsay Lohan is probably an antiquity by now.
8. OCD (The Aviator): The portrayal of people with OCD in transparent attempts to win an Oscar is going to be the wave of the future. The wave of the future. The wave of the future.
9. Girlie Men (Arnold): When Chris Rock implied that only girlie men watch the Oscars, he pretty much ensured that he was no longer going to be invited to Orlando Bloom’s Oscar parties.
10. Yo! (Garden State): Yo, Zach! I beg of thee, please tell me that Mandy freakin’ Moore is the one who makes you like you’re at a Motel 6 and not like you’re “home”?
11. Animation (Incredibles, etc.): Due to her excessive use of Botox, Nicole Kidman is no longer able to show any animation on her face whatsoever.
12. Snub (Giamatti, Saarsgard, etc): With this year’s snub of actors like Paul Giamatti, Peter Saarsgard, and Javier Bardem, the Academy continues to prove it’s about as good a judge of talent as anybody who publishes Michael Medved.
13. Small screen (Depp, DiCaprio, etc.: With flicks like Hitch and Welcome To Mooseport, isn’t it clear that we must ensure by any means necessary that stars of CBS comedies like Kevin James and Ray Romano need to stay on the small screen instead of further polluting the big one?
14. Frass (Sideways): The people who created this “relevant” list insist that the word frass from Sideways has profoundly influenced the English Language, but have you ever heard a person say this word? Ever?
15. Fahrenheit (Fahrenheit 9/11): I had a really good line I was going to use about a certain fella who’s not a fan of Fahrenheit 9/11, but I hear the weather in Guantanamo is unbearable this time of year.
Related tune: No More Words by Berlin (Windows Media via cdzlimited.org)